Category: Uncategorized

There are many differences between collecting baseball cards today and collecting before the mid 1990’s.  For one, as a kid, it was more about the thrill of getting a picture of your favorite player on a piece of cardboard.  Now, it’s easy to get lost in all of the subsets, inserts, numbered variations, autographs, relics, patches and rainbow variations.  The list is much longer than that but we don’t have the time or space to list them all.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s still fun and your chances of pulling something valuable is much greater.  Of course, you are going to spend more money too in search of that value.  The chase for those inserted gems has taken away from the base cards and basic subsets that are still a big part of the baseball card set.

In my opinion, to get to the essence of collecting, you have to go back to when times were simpler.  While you had virtually zero odds of pulling an autographed card, except in some select sets (still astronomically low numbers) and there was no such thing as a relic or patch card, there were some really cool subset cards that could excite you as a collector.  In 1991, Donruss changed the game with the non-autographed insert card that was sequentially numbered with the Elite Series.  I saw one pulled when I was a kid and I nabbed one as an adult.  But before all of that, there was the basic subset that was different from the base card and it consisted of the best players in the game.  So let’s take a trip back to a time before numbered cards and autographs and take a look at some of the coolest subset cards that made opening those older packs fun.1989 Donruss MVP – I’ve said this before but it bears repeating.  1989 Donruss is my favorite set of all time.  The timing of my entry into the hobby, combined with the colorful set and its availability locally made it my go to for years.  I still will pick up a box when I see it in a shop just to see if I can add another Griffey or Sheffield rookie to my collection.  Another thing that Donruss did well was the MVP subset in 1989.  It continued with the colorful theme of the set and provided a close up shot of the best player from all 26 teams in Major League Baseball.  That’s right young bucks; there were only 26 teams in the majors in 1989.  The subset featured such legends as Kirby Puckett, Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn.  The design was a very nice deviation from the 1988 MVP inserts.  Truly a classic subset for a classic card set!Donruss Diamond Kings/Gallery of Stars – These cards sort of bleed together as they are very similar.  Donruss produced the Diamond Kings for the base Donruss set and the Gallery of Stars for the Triple Play edition.  I never really liked Triple Play but I did enjoy the Gallery of Stars inserts.  These two subsets were colorful artist’s renditions of popular players of the era.  Some of my favorites were Ken Griffey Jr., Frank Thomas, David Justice, Bo Jackson and Fred McGriff.  Let’s be honest, I liked most of them except for the occasional Willie Randolph or Ed Whitson.  When I am done with my massive 1991 Topps quest, I think I might try to put the entire Diamond King set together.  When I say put it together, I mean through boxes and packs.  Buying the set as a whole is for people who take shortcuts.1989 Topps All Stars – There wasn’t much that got me excited for Topps in the late 80’s.  As I have shared before, Topps has just never really done it for me outside of 1990.  But one thing I did like about Topps in both ’88 and ’89 was the All Star subsets.  Again, I was a sucker for colorful and these cards were just that.  They had a solid color background and the classic Topps ’88 and ’89 script that said All Star at the top.  It should go without saying but this subset included the previous year’s all-star selections.  Colorful cards depicting All-Star players are always winners in my book.Topps Future Stars – While Topps began using the Future Star subset in 1980, the design used in 1987 and 1988 are iconic.  Bo Jackson helped that become a sought after insert in ’87.  Recent Topps products have brought back the swooshing rainbow star logo and it has been a welcome return.  Topps altered it over the years and even moved away from it during a period of time but this particular logo is the one that I was crazy for.  Never mind that Topps swung and missed on their “Future Stars” more than Rob Deer did curveballs.  Card companies have never been excellent prognosticators.  Just ask the Donruss Rated Rookie department.  The design is what I liked and they hit it out of the park with Jackson.  That remains one of my favorite cards to this day.  The interesting tidbit about the card featured here is that it’s not really Al Leiter.  This was the error version that showed someone who looked eerily similar to Leiter.  It was actually a minor league pitcher named Steve George.1991 Score All-Star – I am about to go on a streak with 1991 Score.  The fact is that they had several sweet subsets in 1991.  Some of them were repeated from ’90 and some were replicated in the years to follow but ’91 is where it’s at for me.  We’ll start with the All-Star subset.  These were cartoon looking drawings with big heads but were very well done and showed the subject player in some action shot that either showed their defensive prowess or power.  There isn’t much to add verbally to this subset as I’ve exhausted the definition of an all-star subset so I’ll let the photo of Barry Larkin do the rest of the explaining for this one.1991 Score Dream Team – This is probably my favorite subset of all time.  This was a very clean and classy photo and design of black and white photos with only “Dream Team” and the players name in color.  While this was my favorite subset, I must admit that the particular cards of Kirby Puckett and Jose Canseco shirtless made me uncomfortable to say the least.  And I won’t even discuss the Rickey Henderson in only sliding shorts card.  Frank Viola went safe with the turtleneck and Will Clark even wore a suit.  Football did a Dream Team subset as well but it didn’t have that same classy feel to me and I collected football as much as baseball.  Though not a big name, the Doug Jones card was really cool with him holding a baseball that was aflame.  This was a great subset!1991 Score “The Franchise” – Another classy looking subset in ’91 Score.  This utilized a black and white picture as well but provided a color background that made the card design pop.  The subset featured 20 franchise players so you were all but guaranteed to pull a star in this subset, with the exception of Todd Zeile.  Nothing against Zeile but he didn’t really belong in a subset with Cal, Clemens, Brett, Yount, Henderson and Sandberg.  Score may have pumped out 893 cards that year but this 20 card subset was a gem.1991 Score K-Man/Rifleman/Master Blasters – This 30 card subset featured three types of specialists.  The K-Man was for the strikeout masters like Nolan Ryan, Roger Clemens and Doc Gooden.  The Rifleman included the guys with big arms like Sandy Alomar Jr., Bo Jackson and Eric Davis.  The Master Blasters was reserved for the big bats like Jose Canseco, Darryl Strawberry and Cecil Fielder.  Bo Jackson was the only player to get recognized as both a Rifleman and Master Blaster.  The K-Man featured blue laser beams while the Rifleman was green and Master Blaster was red.  They had a real 1991 feel and were always a welcome sight when I was ripping through a pack.  With an 893 card set, there were a lot of Scott Sanderson’s, Kevin Tapani’s and Shawn Boskie’s to be had.  Give me one of the subsets any day.1991 and ‘92 Fleer Pro Vision – In 1991, Fleer introduced the Pro-Vision set, a collection of artist renderings that included 9 players.  The players were all superstars and included Jose Canseco with lighting coming out of his bat, Will Clark shattering a bat, Kirby Puckett just smiling, Doc Gooden throwing a fireball, Bo Jackson with a terminator like arm, Roger Clemens holding a comet, Don Mattingly standing in front of a pin striped background, Mark McGwire posing in front of the American Flag and Eric Davis in space.  The 1992 edition was a smaller subset that featured only 6 players.  The checklist included Robin Yount, Ken Griffey Jr., Nolan Ryan, Cal Ripken Jr., Frank Thomas and David Justice in similar designs as ‘91.  While these were artist renderings, unlike the All-Star subset, they weren’t very cartoony and disproportionately sized players.  These were cool drawings that showed the players as superhuman athletes.  They continue the Pro-Vision subset for a few years but really went off the rails by 1994.  The basketball and football had similar subsets that were just as good.1992 Fleer Ultra All-Stars – This subset of All-Star players was a very good looking set.  Fleer Ultra brought a new level of baseball card in 1992, much like Upper Deck in ’89 and Stadium Club in ’91.  The All-Star cards had a black marble look with a clean action photo of the subject player.  While Ultra had gone away from card borders, the All-Star subset provided something unique with the marble border.  These were the first cards that I held in my hand and thought, “I’d better take care of this because this is a NICE card.”  They had a high society feel to them that still hold up today.  Fleer Ultra was a very good set in the early days and the All-Star subset was icing on the cake.

The next time you are opening a pack of 2016 baseball cards and you have to start searching the card for some unique marking or discoloration that makes it unique or rare, think about when subsets were clear and distinct deviations from the base set.  These subsets are not as valuable as the 1 of 1 you might pull now but they should hold some relative value to you depending on when you started collecting and the players you sought out.  I enjoyed each of these subsets and they are part of what made collecting a lifelong hobby for me.  No matter how advanced we get with technology and innovations in the card industry, we have to remember and revisit what brought us to the hobby to begin with.  What subsets have you really enjoyed over the years?  I’m sure I’ve missed some really good ones but these are some that I still hold in my “old” boxes.

J-Dub

I am a Georgia boy, born and bred.  My heart will always bleed for my state.  To begin with, I’m a Georgia Bulldog.  I know that there are many fans of different teams out there but I just don’t get how you can’t love your home team.  People are pretty passionate about their college football though and it sometimes has more to do with what you have access to.  Where I grew up, you had just as much chance of being an Auburn Tiger or a Florida State Criminole.  We were about an hour from each one and Athens is a solid 3 ½.  But Herschel helped my generation and then once I saw the beautiful classic city, there was no turning back.  But that’s a topic for another day.  I’m all Hawks in the NBA.  Life as a Hawks fan has been a difficult one.  We have had greats like Dominique and Spud.  And we have had stars like Millsap and Howard.  We’ve also had duds like Koncak and Rasmussen.  But what we don’t have is a modern day NBA championship.  We had one back in 1958 but my memory doesn’t go back that far.  In my lifetime, we have had the fortune of being in the same division as Jordan, Bird, Isaiah, Reggie, Ewing, LeBron and Wade.  But I have been there through it all.  We’ve been close but we’ve always fallen short.  When I play 2K, I’m the Hawks.  When I play NBA Jam, I’m the Hawks.  It’s the only championship I have seen with them in my 39 years.Then, we have the Atlanta Braves.  Life started tough as a Braves fan then it got really great but has returned to tough again.  When I was young, the Braves were “America’s Team” thanks in part to TBS being a national television station and televising every Braves game.  Pete, Ernie and Skip were my first commentator heroes.  I got a lot of Cubs action too thanks to Harry Carey and the North Siders being on WGN daily, another national television station.  But they were just filler when the Braves weren’t on.  I remember an old photo of me as a wee lad standing in front of the on deck circle with Bruce Benedict preparing for upcoming at bat.  I think they finished 66-96 that year.  The 90’s brought lots of excitement, as was covered in my blog about the now infamous Lonnie Smith.  But we got our championship in 1995 and won an astounding 14 division titles in a row.  That’s only 6 more than the 2^nd most ever by the NY Yankees.  The disappointment was that we only managed 1 championship during that run.  But we did get that one.  The Braves also provided one of the greatest moments of my life, the Dewey Shiver mowing the grass in a dress bet.That brings us to football.  The NFL has always been a sport for me where I could choose one of the teams playing each other in a matchup and find a reason to root for them.  I’ve always followed players in the NFL thanks to UGA, Super Tecmo Bowl and fantasy football.  I pull for Georgia Bulldogs unless they land in New Orleans, Tampa Bay or Carolina.  But even though I hate Carolina, I love Thomas Davis.  I’m a big Andrew Luck fan so I find myself pulling for the Colts.  I’ve been a Bengals fan most of my life too thanks to some family roots and Icky Woods.  It also helps that the current roster is loaded with Georgia Bulldogs.  It’s like they have a pipeline to Athens.  There are also players that I dislike in the NFL that makes me not like their teams.  Aaron Rodgers comes to mind.  Cam Newton is another.  Never been a big Cowboys fan.  And I loathe everything about the New Orleans Saints, even though Drew Brees seems like a good guy by all accounts.  But that hatred stems from the team that is at the center of my heart ~ The Atlanta Falcons.The Falcons have quite possibly provided the most misery for a Georgia sports fan.  They have been to a few NFC championships and even made the Super Bowl once, which we’ll touch on later.  But they have the worst winning percentage of any Georgia sports team.  The Hawks are a mediocre 2 games below .500 all time.  Their lack of reaching the big game may lend one to think they have been the worst team.  But the Falcons have a dismal .438 all time winning percentage and are 341-437-6 from 1966-2016.  This season’s record helps but they still aren’t close to .500.  So, to say it’s been tough growing up a Falcons fan is an understatement.  We’ve had our share of superstars.  Deion Sanders, Andre Rison, Jessie Tuggle, Warrick Dunn and now Matt Ryan, Devonta Freeman and Julio Jones.  But we have only come close once to putting that magical season together.  One game on February 5, 2017 could change all of that for the fans.But first, let’s go back to that one season we came close.  It was almost 20 years ago in 1998 and the Falcons, who affectionately became known as “The Dirty Birds”, finished the regular season at 14-2.  The only losses that season came to the San Francisco 49ers, which had Steve Young, Jerry Rice, Terrell Owens and Garrison Hearst, and the New York Jets, who rolled out the ageless Vinny Testaverde, Curtis Martin and Keyshawn Johnson.  These rosters, on paper at the time, were loaded compared to the Falcons.   Jamal Anderson and Terance Mathis were stars but Chris Chandler, Tim Dwight, O.J. Santiago and Todd Kinchen weren’t really in that same category.  But they managed to put it together in 1998 and finished the season 4^th in the league in points scored and 4^th in the league in points allowed.  The defense was led by Jessie Tuggle, Chuck Smith, Cornelius Bennett, Ray Buchanan and a rookie from the Technical College, Keith Brooking. In all honesty, the Falcons had some luck on their side in the playoffs that season.  They met up with the 49ers again in the playoffs, this time pulling it out 20-18.  On the first play of the game, Garrison Hearst suffered a broken ankle.  He accounted for 1,570 rushing yards on the season.  The Falcons went on to hold the 49ers to 47 yards on the day.  The play that Hearst got hurt on was a 7 yard rush and was the longest of the day.  Super Tecmo Bowl legend William White sealed the game with an interception as the 49ers were attempting to drive 96 yards with less than a minute left.  This win gave the Falcons an opportunity to play in the NFC Championship for the first time in franchise history.  The NFC Championship game brought a daunting task.  The 15-1 Minnesota Vikings by 3 points in the regular season and blew out most other times they faced.  They scored a record, at the time, 556 points and at least 24 in every game.  They were led by Randall Cunningham, another Super Tecmo Bowl legend, at QB, Robert Smith at RB and Cris Carter and Randy Moss at WR.  They were no slouches on defense either with sack master John Randle at DE.  They also had the best kicker in the league, Gary Anderson, who was 35 for 35 on the season.  After battling neck and neck all game, the Vikings had a chance to put their foot on the throat of the Falcons, up 27-20.  Gary Anderson lined up for a 38 yard field goal, which John Madden remarked was essentially automatic.  He missed it.  Somehow, he missed it.  Still down 7, with less than 2:00 to go, the Falcons responded with a touchdown and sent the game to overtime.  In overtime, another Anderson, this time Morten for the Falcons, would hit a field goal to cap one of the most improbable Super Bowl runs ever. The excitement was almost unbearable but was immediately tempered by the thought of having to continue this amazing run against John Elway and Terrell Davis.  They were the defending champions and were heavily favored.  The Falcons had a little too much fun before the game too, culminating in an embarrassing arrest for our best DB, Ray Buchanan.  The game itself was never really close with the Broncos leading 17-6 at the half.  They would go on to win 34-19 dashing the hopes of all Atlanta fans of the elusive Super Bowl Championship that we are still looking for.  It was a fun run and I remember the excitement of that NFC Championship like it was yesterday.  We were over at Jim and Rusty’s Lake House and I was sitting on the same couch where I watched Mike Tyson bite Evander Holyfield’s ear off just a year before.  Another sports memory made with Morten Anderson nailing that OT field goal.We’ve had other opportunities since, losing conference championships in 2005 to the Eagles and 2012 to the 49ers.  One of our better teams got knocked out by Green Bay in the divisional in January 2011 by a whopping 48-21.  We followed that up then next year with another dud against Eli and the Giants, losing 24-2.  So even with the Falcons playing at a very high level in 2016, there was an understandable amount of skepticism in small parts of the souls of Falcons fans heading into the playoffs.  We did, after all, see the 14 season consecutive streak in baseball only end with 1 championship.  You could say that some of us are of the mindset that we won’t get too excited until it happens.  Well, the excitement in Atlanta is now at a fever pitch.This year, the Falcons seem to have just gotten better each week on both sides of the ball.  The offense led the league in total yardage by a 30 yard margin and were tops in passing and 5^th in rushing.  The high octane offense is led by Matt Ryan, who should win MVP this season, if the writers have any stones whatsoever.  Of course, so many of them are in Brady and Rodgers back pocket, you never know how it will turn out.  Supporting Ryan has been a stellar offensive line led by Alex Mack, a running back duo of Devonta Freeman and Tevin Coleman and the wide receivers led by Julio Jones.  Julio is an absolute beast and has opened up the offense for Mohammed Sanu and Taylor Gabriel.  We also have the makings of a very solid tight end for the future in Austin Hooper.  The defense, while not as prolific as the offense, has come of age this season and gives Falcons fans everywhere hope for now and future years to come.  Dwight Freeney is a cagey veteran but the team is very young with studs like Deion Jones, Keanu Neal, Desmond Trufant and Vic Beasley.  And veteran Matt Bryant gives Falcons fan the sense of comfort that Morten Anderson provided in the 90’s.  Arthur Blank and Dan Quinn have built a super bowl contender and we are all happy for that.Once again, it hasn’t been easy getting here.  We had to beat the Seattle Seahawks, recent perennial Super Bowl contenders, in the divisional round.  And we did so in rather convincing fashion, moving the ball at will and unleashing Julio Jones on the formidable Richard Sherman, leaving Sherman shaking his head in disbelief.  Then, in the NFC Championship, the Falcons had to face their playoff nemesis Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers.  The Packers came in with a ton of confidence riding an 8 game win streak and has just gone to Dallas to know off the “unbeatable” Cowboys.  The world rejoiced on that one.  Rodgers came in on a hot streak and left with an Eli Manning face.  The defense swarmed him all day and their shaky secondary was no match for Ryan and company.  It would be one of the most satisfying wins in Falcons history.The Super Bowl is going to be another tough one as well.  Much like our trip in 1998 against Elway, we are facing probably the best QB of my generation in Tom Brady.  Bill Belichick, Brady and the Patriots are no strangers to the big game.  They are favored and as usual, the Falcons are flying under the radar on the national coverage.  But that’s how I like to be honest.  I believe in the old saying uttered by great philosopher Ric Flair, “To be the man, you have to beat the man.”  And that is what we are going to have to do.  Not many have beaten Tom Brady in the biggest game of the season but the 2016-17 Falcons have a legitimate shot.  And that gives me an excitement like I have never had before going into a Super Bowl.It also gives me a tremendous sense of pride and happiness.  I am proud of the home town team.  I am happy for the city of Atlanta and the fans.  I am happy for my fellow Falconites.  I am happy for my cousin Michael, who may be the biggest Falcon fan I know.  We don’t always see eye to eye on our football viewing, with him being a Nole, but this is one area we can agree on.  He’s the one I text when I am fed up with drafting the likes of Peria Jerry.  He texts me his agonizing over a dropped pass in a crucial moment.  We laugh together over the shenanigans of Miko Grimes.  We discuss superstitions when it comes to clothing and what’s best for the team.  There are a lot of guys like that who I am happy for this year but Mike is the one I talk to most about it.  It feels like 1991 all over again and the home team is finally making noise.  It’s been a long time coming and Falcon fans are begging to be unleashed!We’re one week away from the biggest and most watched sporting event in our world.  And my hometown Atlanta Falcons are playing for all the marbles.  Somewhere Scott Case is taking someone’s head off.   Billy White Shoes is doing his famous end zone celebration.  Deion Sanders is high stepping through my mind.  Mike Rozier is plowing over a defensive lineman and Patrick Kerney is getting ready to fly off of the corner for a strip sack.  And people like me and Mike are sitting on our hands, anxiously awaiting the kickoff next Sunday.  I’d like to say that no matter the outcome, we are young and only getting better every year.  But that would only be half the truth.  The whole truth is that the City of Atlanta and the State of Georgia wants this badly.  The Falcons want this badly.  I want this badly!  Let’s go Falcons!  Rise Up Dirty Birds!!

J-Dub

One of the coldest facts of life is that we have no idea when our time on earth will be up.  We sometimes take for granted that we will live to retirement and enjoy the lives we build for ourselves over the prime years.  While in reality, I may not even make it to the end of this blog.  I say that we sometimes take it for granted but I think the more accurate statement would be that we almost always take it for granted.  Very few people wake up thinking it could be their last day.  But the fact is we just never know and that can be downright frightening.

It’s no secret that Albany, Ga has experienced her share of tragedy during the month of January.  I am not about to step in anyone’s shoes and claim that I understand it or “know how it feels” to be where victims are either.  And while most of the area woke up on Sunday knowing that it would likely be a very difficult day, you can never really prepare for an event like this.  We also didn’t know if it would be Lee County, Worth, Dougherty, Mitchell, Northwest Albany, South Albany, East Albany, or Putney.   No idea.  As a matter of fact, up until 5 minutes before the tornado hit South Albany, we were watching a potential path from Dawson to Leesburg that just dissipated.  Then, Mother Nature chose its destination and we all know by now what happened. 

I’m not here to make sense of it or try to understand it in the least.  There is none of that.  I am here though to discuss how precious our lives really are despite what we think sometimes.  This is the second major weather event I have been close to.   I was not in Albany for either of the floods, though I know they stretched resources and sanity to the limits then.  I was, however, in Camilla in 2000 when the devastating Valentine’s Day Tornado hit and took 22 lives across the region and in the hometown I had known since birth.  It destroyed a landscape that I had intimate knowledge of.   It was like a wasteland of debris and confusion.   I can only imagine that lifelong Albany residents are experiencing those same feelings right now.  

I knew most everyone affected by the tragedy in 2000.  Camilla is a small town after all.  This beast struck in the middle of the night.  My aunt and uncle’s home was in the heart of the destruction.  My aunt wasn’t home because she had the daunting task of being the EMA Manager/EMS Director in Camilla.  So she was working that night and had no idea what condition her home or family were in during the immediate moments after the tornado.  My parents and I arrived at her house to find my uncle and two of their kids safe but extremely shaken.   Their home had withstood the storm (with plenty of damage) but their hearts and minds were in shambles.  We walked through the neighborhood in the pitch black checking houses and looking for people that needed help.   It was so dark and quiet.  I was as scared as I had ever been and I was 23 years old.  The only light was the occasional lightning strike and those were the rare moments that you longed for the dark because you were able to see the destruction that was surrounding you.  We also had no idea what was unfolding just across the highway where a mile of mobile homes had been utterly demolished.  An unforgettable night, much like Sunday afternoon was to so many here in Albany.

There are countless unbelievable stories that eventually came out from the residents there that survived the event in 2000.  Traumatic stories of survival and heroism and despair.  There are certain moments, pictures and stories that I’ll never forget.  The same will come out of this event and it will be one that is never forgotten locally.  That’s on top of what had already happened on January 2.  But these events highlight my topic.  None of the people who lost their lives woke up those mornings and thought, “This is probably my last day.”  Of course, that’s not real healthy thinking to begin with I suppose but the old saying is “live like every day is your last.”  And in that, there is some solid truth.  We walk around thinking that we can put off today what could be done tomorrow.  We think that we can tell someone that we love them the next time we see them.  We think that our situation is bad because we didn’t get the raise we were hoping for or we didn’t get our package in the mail or we aren’t having what we wanted for supper.  And true, in a vacuum, those are real feelings and thoughts for us.   I don’t mean to trivialize everyday struggles because I know they are real.  They just seem to take on a different meaning in times like this.  You have every right to have your bad day.  But perspective helps with those days.

What would happen if we truly lived every day like it was our last?   First, I mean that in a practical sense.  That doesn’t mean we should go rob a bank and buy new cars because it really might not be your last.  It would be your last as a free person but I digress.  How would we treat our loved ones?   Our neighbors? Strangers?  Would we be arguing about abortion and same sex marriage and religious views while hating everyone that has a different set of views?  Or would we be so focused on ourselves and our loved ones that the noise around us would be muted?  Does that mean we should turn a blind eye to social issues and world news topics?  No, but we could sure start to mind our own business a little bit and not get involved in things that really don’t alter our lives one way or the other.  Trivial would truly be trivial and those around us would get the best of what we have to offer.  Who doesn’t want that?

I posted a line from a song a few days ago that says a lot in a few words, “it takes more than eyes to see.”  We just either don’t know or forget how to look around until something like the above happens to us or our loved ones.  Hearts go out for the losses and we get chills when we hear the horrible stories of devastation.  This makes us want to hug our kids a little tighter when we tuck them in at night.  It makes us want to tell our wives (or husbands) that we love them and appreciate them.  It makes us want to get involved in our community and pitch in and donate and help clean up.   And it should and we should absolutely do our part.  But what are we going to do in the months or years to come when this event is a memory?  Will we go back to road rage and getting mad at the lady behind the counter for being too slow?   Will we get aggravated because our wives can’t decide where they want to eat?   Will we long for a moment of quiet at our homes because our throbbing heads just can’t take the fussing anymore?  Of course we will, because it’s human nature.  

I’m not even saying that we are bad people because that is a part of life.  But in those moments, we should sometimes stop and think that there is someone out there whose husband or wife isn’t coming home tonight.  There is a parent out there who longs for arguing children in the home.  There is a child out there that would not mind at all if their mom or dad was around to ground them for back talking.  I am not trying to be grim but I am, if that makes any sense.  We are losing our identity as a society.  We are becoming more and more inhuman as time passes.  And some of us are throwing our hands up and accepting it as the way of the world now.  It all comes back to who we are.  Are we someone who is going to project love and peace or are we someone who is going to be the pot stirrer, even when the pot is boiling over?  

We only have a short time on this earth.   It may seem like we have some long days or weeks or even years but humans have been around for thousands of years and our lives may represent 70 years of that if we’re lucky.  That is not a long time.  And I have learned that no matter how much we want to, we can’t do it over.  We can’t revisit the past and change it.  We can just try and make amends and move forward.  What we can do is change now and going forward.  We all have parts of ourselves that we aren’t happy with.  That can be physically, mentally, emotionally or socially.  We can change and we can get what we want out of this life for that short time we are here.   It basically boils down to whether we want to or not.  It may seem more difficult than that but it’s really not.  Our hearts can change, our waistline can change and our personalities can change.  Most importantly, I believe our souls can change.  Our souls are something that is very unique to us.  We may have a twin out there, a doppelganger if you will, but I believe our soul is as unique as our DNA.   Our souls generally gravitate to other souls we are attracted to.  We may think sometimes that attraction is physical, and it usually is on day one, but if our souls aren’t attracted to each other, relationships won’t last.  

I have probably weaved in and out of traffic to get to this destination but my mind has been spinning for a while.   My point is this; we have to love more, we have to be more patient, we have to have more understanding, we don’t need to judge people on appearance, we don’t need to take our moments (even of frustration) for granted because they are still moments and we generally recover.  I feel all the time and sometimes that sounds like a bad thing.  But I have learned to embrace it as a quality that some don’t have.  We all have a uniqueness that we bring to the table.   Now the feels I have aren’t always warm and fuzzy but I am very in tune with my thoughts and emotions and I have more clarity than I did 5 years ago.  I have bad days.   I have emotional breakdowns.  I have shitty experiences.  But in some of my darkest moments, I have been able to reach out to the people I love and get the help I need.  And because of that, I TRY to take very little for granted.  I see struggle all around me in some form and I am fortunate.   I am alive and I have people that I love and that love me.  Think about where you are right now in your life and how you can get the most out of it.  I’m still learning everyday.  I just hope I have enough time to figure it all out.  Of course, that’s something I don’t really know.

J-Dub

1977 would be a pretty eventful year.  A lot of events took place that may not have seemed life changing at the time but they have gone on to have a profound effect on us personally and as a society.  Apple Computer was incorporated.  I now type this blog on an Apple iPhone and we share the same birth year.  Snow fell in Miami Florida for the only time in history.  Also, as I type this blog, I am watching the Miami Dolphins struggle mightily in a playoff game in Pittsburgh where the temp is 12 degrees.  I found it coincidental but I don’t suppose it’s very meaningful.  Jimmy Carter, a peanut farmer from Georgia, was sworn in as President of the United States.  He was the first, and still the only, President from my home state.  A few years ago, I played on his secret service’s softball team in a game vs Plains High School alumni.  He pitched for the team.  How many people can say they’ve played softball with a President.  It was pretty cool.Fleetwood Mac released the Grammy Winning album, Rumours.  Last year, I took Alicia to see the Fleetwood Mac tribute band, Rumours, in Atlanta for her birthday, sort of checking off a bucket list item.  Not much of a chance seeing the real band anymore so this was as close as it got.  The Bee Gee’s released Saturday Night Fever.  The movie of the same name would soon follow later in ’77.  I always pictured my Uncle Speedy as the perfect Bee Gee.  Son of Sam was also associated with the disco scene and was captured in New York that year.  Led Zeppelin performed their last North American concert while The Clash released their first album.  A film named Star Wars hit the big screen.  I think it turned out to be pretty popular.  I remember the Ewoks and the original Chewy before special effects were so good.  There were others too like Smokey and The Bandit, Slap Shot and Close Encounters of the Third Kind.  Pretty big year in music and movies I’d say.The Toronto Blue Jays and Seattle Mariners would play their first baseball games.  Years later, I would be a Mariners fan thanks to Ken Griffey Jr. and would despise the Blue Jays thanks to Kelly Gruber.  Gruber was a hustler and While he would normally be a player I would root for, he stood between the Braves and a World Series with that hustle.  AJ Foyt won the Indianapolis 500 for the 4th time.  The AJ Foyt of my generation, Tony Stewart, is why I love racing today.  That, along with watching it on Sundays with my dad and grandaddy.  Reggie Jackson hit 3 homeruns in a World Series win over the Dodgers, lending to the nickname that would stick, Mr. October.  I guess I was destined to be a sports fan with this type of activity.1977 was the year Tandy was created.  If you aren’t from my generation, you probably don’t even know what this is.  But for me, it created my love for video games.  The Tandy Computer was the first console I played.  Bedlam was my favorite game and it was completely text with no action or graphics.  Sounds boring, I know.  But I spent hours trying to avoid being lobotomized by a crazy doctor.  It’s also where we got Paperboy, Pitfall and Downland.  Commodore and Atari also hit the scene in 1977.  What a year for gamer history!  You kids can thank these classics for setting you up for Madden and Call of Duty.  I would go on to specialize in video gaming for many years of my life.  Tecmo Bowl, RBI, Mario, Resident Evil, Fallout.  Of course, it’s a specialization that doesnt really count as specialization.The Pinwheel Network was created.  Better known now as Nickelodeon, this tv station was on in every house I went to as a child.  It’s still on at my house today with Spongebob Squarepants.  Earlier classics were Dusty’s Treehouse, Mr. Wizard’s World, You Can’t Do That On Television, Double Dare and Ren and Stimpy.  I’m pretty sure that was the “Golden Age” of television for my generation.  I don’t understand the stuff kids watch these days but that’s probably the way my parents felt about my shows.  TV was better in my younger days.  I don’t know whether that was because I was less knowledgeable about what was real and what was fake or if The years have just washed away the bad programming.Everything wasn’t all roses either though.  The King, Elvis Presley, died in August.  The world mourned the passing of one of the most influential musicians in history.  As big of a music fan as I am, I would have loved to see him play live.  I love a live show and I’m sure he put in some memorable ones.  Three members of Lynard Skynard passed away in a plane crash.  The southern rock legends would continue and still play today but the original band died that day too.  The King and Skynard in the same year.  Groucho Marx  and Bing Crosby also took their last breaths in 1977.  I guess 2016 was crueler in numbers as it relates to the celebrity death but these were equally big names.

All in all though, a pretty large year.    The most significant event of my life happened that year also.  On February 13, 1977, I was born.  I was the first grandchild on the Kelly side of the family and the second on the Shiver side.  Dusty beat me by a couple of years.  My dad, Dewey was (and still is) a truck driver and my mom, Pam, worked at the school system.  I was born into a relatively normal life in a relatively normal town.  A lot of abnormal things have happened over the last 39 years but my life has been pretty good.  My parents are still together after 40 years, all but one of my grandparents were able to see my children when they were born, I married my high school sweet heart and we’ve got our own pretty good life.  

But as I’m so close to reaching the big milestone of 40, it’s become an obsession of sorts to revisit my journey along the way.  I see a lot of things every day that take me back to some moment of my life that brings me joy, pain, laughter, fear or some other emotion.  There have been a  lot of “normals” along the way but there have been some events along the way that could have changed my path and led to a different present.  Life is funny.  Sometimes it’s sad.  But it’s life.  I have no idea what memories I’ll write about next.  I don’t know if I’ll write part 2 tomorrow or next week.  I don’t know if I’ll write about a year in my life or a several year span.  Or maybe just an event that happened and the lesson I learned.  I’ve shared several memories on the blog before but that’s what a big part of life is about to me.  Making memories.

It’s also fun to write about.  A lot of people and places intertwine during the walk down memory lane.  It’s not always about fun either though.  I have had some hard lessons I’ve had to learn along the way because I’ve made some bad decisions.  It’s also not always deep, profound and life changing either because I was a clown growing up.  I’ve enjoyed life along the way and I want to convey that too.  Overall, my life has probably been boring compared to others.  But there might be something in this journey that resonates or links us together.  There’s only one way to find out though.  And that’s to continue dive in and take the trip down memory lane.  And it all started in 1977.

J-Dub

As we age, we start to try and figure out some things. Some are important, meaning of life type things. Others are simple, like how to put on a toilet paper roll correctly, up and over of course. But what’s more difficult is trying to figure out things about ourselves. We usually have an idea of how other people see us based on how we see ourselves. Never mind the fact that we can be bias and are almost always wrong. We also usually have an idea of how we want to portray ourselves. Again, the person we portray is not always who we are. So, the question becomes, “who are we?” Or more specifically, “Who Am I?”

 It is one of the troubling questions you begin to ask yourself when you have reached mid life. And no, I’m not talking about a mid life crisis. I am talking about understanding what we have been, what we can become and what we might always be. Some of it is hard to accept so we don’t like those answers and keep looking. We think “that can’t possibly be one of my traits”, and we blindly look for a more suitable answer. On the other hand, we run across something that we are proud of and we embrace that trait and pat ourselves on the back. I think that’s ok though. If we are going to really be honest with ourselves, we are going to need some good to go with the bad. We really just need to hope there is enough to even it out. I am trying to be honest with myself, though difficult at times. So I am going to try and be honest with you as I try and answer the question with the information I currently have as I near 40.

 I Am An Introvert – Yeah, believe it or not, I am. I can open up with my closest friends and family and let my guard down. In that regard, I may not be a full blown introvert. It is not debilitating but it is very much there. When I play softball with a new team, I may not say 10 words the whole day of a tournament. When I go to a meeting with new co-workers, I find my seat and keep to myself unless someone comes up to me. I’d rather hang out at my house than go out and do something. I’d rather watch a football game in my recliner than at a sports bar or even in person, unless it’s a huge game. I haven’t always been this way either. I used to have to be the center of attention. I used to be the comedian of the group. Now, only certain people get to see that side of me, God help them!

 I Am A Hypochondriac – I know this one is a shocker for some of you. It’s bad though. I am pretty sure I have emotionally had every major disease you can have. It’s even worse with my kids. Brain Amoebas, Flesh Eating Virus, Meningitis, all of the really bad ones. I take some of the craziest leaps when it comes to health concerns. I totally understand that these are legitimate concerns to parents and no one wants to go through these things. I just don’t have a rational way of dealing with the thoughts about them. I can reach a point of incapacitation. I can’t think, I can’t function, I can only see one thing. I have improved some in this area but not much. I do have to stay away from the internet when it comes to medical questions though.

 I Am Kind Hearted – I usually don’t like the thought of anyone not liking me. Please don’t tell me that there really is someone out there that doesn’t. I try to go out of my way sometimes to make sure I haven’t hurt someone’s feelings. I am that guy that takes a dime back into the store because I got too much change. I am the guy that tries to remember every detail of conversations to pick up on things that you like so I can try to brighten your day in the future. I remember birthdays and anniversaries and other important dates. It makes me feel good when others feel good. I truly would rather give than receive. That is one that I am proud of.

 I Am Trustworthy – Of course, I have been dishonest or a letdown just like anyone else. I am no saint. But I believe in trust and honesty. I think that is one of the tenets of our society, which is not one of our strong points. In my honesty, I believe what everybody’s grandma use to say, that if you don’t have something nice to say, sometimes you should say nothing at all. I have put my foot in my mouth before but I have generally been able to hold my tongue when I had to. Being trustworthy and honest is one of the things that has advanced me in my career and I know that. It is why I have been married to the same lovely woman for 15 years. It’s given me a lot of opportunities I wouldn’t have otherwise been afforded.

 I Am Irreverent – I have a sick sense of humor. Nothing really offends me and nothing is out of bounds. It can sometimes get the best of me and it definitely battles with my kind hearted side. Think about the paradox of never being offended and always thinking I have offended someone. While there is no out of bounds, I sometimes forget where other’s boundaries are. I like hard core comedians. I don’t mind foul language. I can laugh at myself as much as laughing at something else. I think I have a great sense of humor. It’s just not for everyone. So next time I share that questionable meme on FaceBook, just roll your eyes and move along.

 I Am Jaded – This one is tough. I know that I am though. I have seen too much of certain things and not enough of others. I have seen both sides of the philanthropic figure head. I have seen both sides of the religious FaceBook poster. I have seen both sides of the wealthy and the poor. You know the old saying, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is”? Yeah, that’s what I think about a lot of people. Sometimes I’m right and sometimes I’m wrong. Again, I am not perfect. But usually, I have to see some true colors before I am all in. Or either, I see your true colors and I am out and there is no bringing me back in. Like I said, it’s a tough one to live with but it’s deep rooted at this point.  

I Am Loyal – To go along with some of the comments of being jaded, on the flip side, if you show me that I can believe in you, I’ll be as loyal a friend as you’ll ever have.  I reserve my best for family and close friends.  If you’re in the circle, it’s a tight circle and I’ve got your back.  There aren’t many people that can fit in the circle so it does mean you are special to me.  I’m polite and kind to everyone I meet if they are the same to me.  But it’s “ride or die” for my closest.

I Am A Husband – I get a lot wrong at home.  I don’t do things exactly like Alicia wants them done.  Sometimes I’m mentally checked out from these other things that “I Am”.  But I know what my priorities are in life.  I enjoy playing sports and Alicia picks up my slack when I do but I’m home every night, our bills are paid, I pull my weight with house duties and I’m a one woman man.  She knows what she means to me and I try to remind her more often than I make her forget.  All of the positive things I am above, I try to be to her the most.  I have so much to improve on but I work on it all the time.

I Am A Father – Anybody who knows me well, knows what my girls mean to me.  My life changed forever in 2007.  It wasn’t about me anymore.  It took me a while to realize it but I get it now.  My life revolves around their well being, their safety, their happiness and their growth.  I’ve done a lot of things that I would’ve never done 10 years ago just to make them happy.  And they are stuck to me like glue so they must like me a little bit too.  I spend a lot of time worrying about them and life is harder and more pressure packed but that’s the trade off for the smiles, laughter and hugs.  Just like being a husband, I am a work in progress but I’m further along than I was when Bailey was born.

I guess I’m really a lot of other things too.  I’m a Bulldog, I’m a marginal athlete, I’m a hard worker (mentally), I’m a sports junkie, I’m a dreamer, I’m a half brained philosopher, and I’m a middling wordsmith.  I’m also selfish, I’m a procrastinator, I’m a junk food addict, I’m lazy and I’m uninspiring sometimes.  A lot of good and a lot of bad so I guess you have to decide whether I’m your cup of tea or not.  I’ll probably stop being some of these things at some point and start being other things eventually.  I’ll probably trade in the marginal athlete for the part time hammock sleeper or something along those lines.  Maybe the last thing I am is a realist.  So I am learning to embrace the good and bad and trying to accept what they both bring to my makeup.  I’d love to add millionaire and statuesque heart throb to the list but I am what I am.  I am.

J-Dub

Nostalgia can take many forms and can manifest itself on many different levels. Sometimes we experience nostalgia singularly. Sometimes we experience it on a group level. Sometimes it can be a fond memory of someone we once knew, events we lived through or places we visited. By definition, it is a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically a period or place with happy personal associations. But, that is too simple. It’s more complex and can be something different to each of us. It can also be deceiving. We tend to block out the monotonous events involved in our nostalgic thinking. We forget the results and repercussions of some of the events. We turn a blind eye to the negative. If you really stop and process your history, it’s quite fascinating.

Rather than get into some deep philosophical ramblings, which would be easy on this topic, I think I’ll convey my point through a personal trip through some of my more vivid memories. It’s not meant to rain on the parade of nostalgia because anyone familiar with this blog understands that I look favorably on the past. We all think “our time” was the greatest. Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials. They all have upsides and downsides but you typically find more upsides with your generation than outsiders do. I was born in 1977 so I am Gen X. I grew up in the 80’s/early 90’s, which according to multiple TV shows on VH1 Classic, was the greatest time to be alive. Granted, there were some major positives from the time but I imagine the Baby Boomers think the same about their time. I think we can all agree that millennials are pretty weak when they try to compare their generation to ours. 

To simply list cultural references of the 80’s and 90’s would be too easy. It’s more about what the cultural references meant to us individually. While I was watching Transformers, another person may have been watching Jem. My He-Man was another man’s G-I Joe. But regardless, we are generally very protective of our childhood. This was most recently brought to the surface with the release of the Ghostbusters remake. There were people my age that simply refused to go see it because it could not possibly be as good as the original. No Bill Murray, No Dan Akroyd, No Sigourney Weaver? Worthless. Yet, a 19 year old can watch our Ghostbusters from the 80’s and think it’s the dumbest thing ever written. To wit, I say bologna!

 Which brings us to the first topic: 

• In general, are the remakes really worse than the originals? My answer has to be yes. I’ll take the original Halloween, Friday the 13th, RoboCop, Transformers, Ghostbusters and Texas Chainsaw Massacre any day. First and foremost, a remake just seems lazy. Sure, there are new special effects and the story can advance sometimes but your over arching script has already been written. Did the Dukes of Hazzard really need a redux? I believe that some of the most groundbreaking films came from the late 70’s through the end of the 80’s. Think about some of the prominent films from that time; Star Wars, ET, Aliens, Indiana Jones, Terminator, Caddyshack, Vacation. Those are some really good movies. Some of them hold up and some of them don’t but they were original films in their day and have been the basis for multiple spinoffs and copycats. Everything today seems like a spin off of one of the great 80’s movies. There are some great filmmakers today but a lot of them are also from the 80’s and are using some of those films as references. Think Kevin Smith, Quentin Tarantino, John Singleton and Spike Jonze.

• Was 80’s music really good or just memorable? This one is tougher. Music has been around a lot longer than movies so each decade has had its own unique sound. I will submit that 70’s Disco was the worst until 2010’s Country/Pop/Rap came along. My personal favorite was 90’s alternative rock. This view is not shared by Alicia. I love Smashing Pumpkins, Sublime, Everclear, The Cranberries, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Alice in Chains…..really all of it. I can still listen to Lithium on XM and enjoy the music and sing along. So, I think 90’s alternative music was really good and is more than nostalgia. However, the music from the 80’s, while toe-tapping and classic in one sense, was not really that good. Unless of course you are talking Hair Metal or Rock.  Don’t get me wrong, I really love 80’s music but I can understand when someone says that 80’s music stinks. The synthesizers, the electric drums, the weird dancing, all bad. When it comes on, I will sing my heart out to Safety Dance but think about it – this was a group of guys with planter pots on their heads wearing matching outfits doing a very poor rendition of the robot. “I come from a land down under? Vegamite sandwich?” Not the best from a talent perspective. There are some absolute icons that were playing music in the 80’s but they continued to refine their sound and survived the 80’s. Again, I am a fan but a lot of it is bad. I think we all enjoy it because it takes us back to those days. Der Kommisar is an abysmal song but when I hear it, I think about the Pelham Skating Rink so it has very positive feelings associated with it. It is also when music videos were popular so we all saw something cool visually with it. So, in this case, the nostalgia places the true opinion of the music somewhere between perception and reality.  

 • How about some TV? This one sort of goes back to the movie section for my generation. Originality drives a lot of the popularity of these shows. Because once again, and just being brutally honest, the product is not good anymore. I have watched Full House and Saved By The Bell very recently and the jokes are just simple and poor. But America almost flipped her lid when Full House was announced as coming back less than a year ago. Today’s desire to watch the comeback was based purely on our nostalgic view. Back then, we just didn’t know any better. Everybody wanted to be Zack Morris and wanted to date Kelly Kapowski, or vice versa. In today’s world, Screech would be the popular hipster and Zack would be the mean pretty boy. One of the key issues with TV then and TV now is/was our expectations. When “Saved by the Bell” or “90210” or “A Different World” came on, they were dealing with hard hitting issues like drugs and alcohol and teen pregnancy. For the time, those were taboo issues. Now look at this comparison. In one episode of SBTB, Jessie struggled with speed pills because she wanted to stay awake and study and meet all of the demands of being a top student. That was a deep, dramatic episode. You should remember, “I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it” followed by the second worst fake cry in acting history (only second to her attempts in Showgirls). Now, one of the most popular shows of the last few years is about a science teacher who finds out he has cancer so he decides to start manufacturing meth and slowly becomes a drug lord that murders people that get in his way, young and old. All in order to raise money for his family when he’s gone. Can you imagine an episode of Full House where Danny Tanner decides to start slangin cane? I actually may have just come up with the perfect reunion show for Growing Pains. You get the point, the line has gone further and further. That’s what makes sitting down and watching Luke Perry bellyache about being good looking weak. But the 80’s and early 90’s had a feel that can’t really be found today, unless you try really hard. One of the best television shows of 2016 is Stranger Things, which is modeled after 80’s Stephen King and Steven Spielberg. But you know why it’s soooo good? It feels like an 80’s show AND has all of the grown up horror of today’s films. The perfect combination!

 This is going to get way bigger than I thought so I am going to go with some quick hitters now.

 • Baseball – We have now discovered that our baseball players from Gen X were all juicers but weren’t they more fun to watch? I loved the McGwire/Sosa home run chase. Jose Canseco was always entertaining. Roger Clemens was a fireballer. Doc Gooden and Daryl Strawberry were almost super human but turns out they were on amphetamines, at least according to Lenny Dykstra. Now, we may have stricter guidelines and they may be more kid friendly but it’s not as fun to watch. I enjoy looking at 80’s baseball cards, not because they are valuable, because they aren’t, but because it takes me back to when it was more fun to watch. I don’t necessarily condone cheating but if the percentage using was what they claim, was anybody really at a competitive advantage. Of course, a lot of this is tongue and cheek but the point remains it was more fun to watch!

• Football – Again, it was a blast to watch because of some of the things that have changed since then that have cleaned up the game. No more celebrating after touchdowns, no more crushing hits without a penalty, a big reduction in trash talk. From a strictly entertainment perspective, it has become way more technical than “back in the day”. Now, you get beat with film study and statistical overload. Then, you got pushed around a football field and you ran someone over or you got ran over. Now, we can’t even agree on what a catch is. I still love football but it has become way too over officiated. Again, to be fair, I am not a big showboat fan but I did like when the players had some freedom to express themselves. If you didn’t like it, you were allowed not to like it. Now, that is all behind us.  But I can’t honestly say that the times were better.  The game has just changed and I miss some of the old stuff.

• Basketball – This one is a hand’s down for me. I remain a huge NBA fan but you will never prove to me that the players from my generation aren’t better than they are now. The current players may be able to jump higher or may be stronger but there aren’t many people that play defense like Scottie Pippen, pass like Gary Payton or Magic, rebound like Barkley, defend the paint like Ewing and Olajuwan, talk trash like Reggie Miller or John Starks, destroy defenders like MJ or AI, or shoot with such cold blood as Larry Bird. There are some great players today that can do those things well but I’ll take my guys all day. There is nothing you can say so don’t try. Just move along.

• Toys – I’ll try to close with this one. The toys of Gen X were awesome when we were young but they really hold just nostalgic value now as opposed to being something that can be replayed today. Transformers were cutting edge, GI Joe was supped up Army Men and Atari was our first shot at video games. You can’t bring those out today and expect to be mesmerized. Pong and Frogger would be quite annoying today. But would I like to play it? Hell Yeah! Super Mario and Duck Hunt brought us hours and hours of joy. Super Tecmo Bowl has received it’s own blog here. Mike Tyson’s Punch Out is a cult classic. BUT, you can only play those games for so long today and the nostalgia begins to wear off. I bought a box of 1989 Donruss for $10 a couple of weeks ago. It started out as the greatest thing ever because I took myself back to opening cards in my bedroom at my mom and dads house and remembered all of the players. About halfway through the box, I started wishing they inserted autographs and jersey cards. It lost it’s luster, until I pulled a Ken Griffey Jr. That card, currently valued at about $10 if in good condition, was the highlight, and the fun was over.

 That’s nostalgia sometimes. It can be a great idea in your head and seem really fun to begin with. But, then you start to compare it to how far technology or collectibles or our standard of living has advanced and it wears off. If I could figure out a way to bottle up that initial nostalgic feeling when I see an old movie or ride by the old Video Superstore or pull that Gary Sheffield Rated Rookie, I would be a millionaire. But that’s a part of it I guess. Nostalgia is almost a high for some people, me included. We can spend a lot of time chasing it and once we find it, it doesn’t last long enough and we are looking for it again. It’s really kind of cruel in that way. Your mind takes what were fun but rather normal experiences and gives them new life as you get older. You want to go back and get those experiences and relive them but it’s never as good as the first time around. Then, there is disappointment. But, the high is worth the low on this one. If Doc Brown would go ahead and invent that Delorian, I would have some dates picked out to go back to and experience things “the first time” again. Until then, I have my memories.

 J-Dub

“He awoke to the sound of a boom and a shaking that he had never felt before. As he turned to flip the lamp on, he realized the power was out. He was sitting in total darkness. But usually, with darkness, it was quiet. Not this time. He heard faint car alarms, destruction and worst of all, shrieking and screaming. He found himself somewhere between still being half asleep, terrified and curious. Stepping out of the bedroom, there was another boom, but this time, more of a cracking sound and further in the distance. Still, the shaking was felt, even if the sound was further away. He stumbled to the front door and slowly opened it, not knowing what to really expect.
Stepping outside, the prevailing feeling became terrified as the city he was standing in was littered with fires, wrecked vehicles and people running through the streets trying to escape something that had horrified them. In that moment, several thoughts began running through his head. “What is everyone running from?”, “Should I just start running with them?”, “Is this war, anarchy, zombies?”, “Do I go back inside and just lock the door?” The thought that kept repeating between all of these other jumbled thoughts made the most sense. “What the hell is going on here??”  

Strangely, amid the internal questioning and taking in the surroundings, there was a moment of clarity, a moment of calm. Almost trance like, he began walking in the direction the people were coming from. He didn’t know where this decision had come from or what he was even doing walking in that direction. His body was just making the movements, with no regard to the trepidation in his head. Pure chaos passed him on the streets as he walked towards the center of town. As he approached a flashing red stop light at an intersection, apparently running on some emergency generator, something caught his attention. There was a gas station to his left. There was a faint sound of a person, calling out.  As he made his way closer to the station, he could see the outline of a person reaching out of the partially blocked entry doors to the facility. The constant rumbling and shaking had toppled the sign from the storefront and it sat twisted across the doorway. The person was alone, hoping and reaching for someone to pull them from the collapsing backdrop. He approached the door and moved the sign just enough for the door to sling open and she jumped into his arms. She could not get the “Thank You” out fast enough before he turned to run grabbing her hand. It was time to run with the crowd now instead of heading into it.  

They ran from street to street, surveying the landscape, thinking internally and sometimes aloud, but clinging to each other. They didn’t know where they were going, what they were running from or even each other’s names. They were just going on instincts. Those instincts told them to run, to stay with each other because 2 heads were better than 1 and they needed to find somewhere safe. They reached a small opening in what appeared to be a bridge that had collapsed. There was only one little opening so they went in and it opened up enough for them to hide. They were able to pull some metal and shrapnel over the opening and they finally introduced themselves to each other. Somehow they just knew at that moment that they were meant to find each other during this event. It was just one more unexplainable moment in what had turned out to be the most unexplainable evening of their lives.

The loud crashes and chaotic sounds finally subsided. They chose to continue to wait, partly out of common sense that they needed to let the dust completely settle and partly out of fear that their minds were just tricking them into thinking everything was ok. After what felt like several days had passed, he thought the time was right to check everything out. He grabbed her hand and they emerged from the rubble together. The sun was shining bright, the fires were gone and there was silence all around. Whatever caused this had come and gone and they were standing together looking at what was left of the city they called home. They walked back down the street they frantically ran up a couple of days before. Now, just slowly walking, in silence, holding hands.  They began to notice people starting to come into view from the various hiding spots they had jumped in. There weren’t as many people as before but they were coming out to see the sun as well. As they approached the center of town, they realized that whatever was happening previously was over. They were safe again. They began to let their guard down a little. They even glanced at each other and smiled for a moment. When they did, they both knew that they had made it together. He was led into that chaos for a reason, although he didn’t know at the time. She needed someone to hold her hand so she would know that she was not alone in the crumbling world. But now, it was over and everyone was slowly making their way back to their homes and shelter. They turned and just looked at each other, not knowing whether to say goodbye to each other or use this chance meeting as a glimpse into humanity they hadn’t seen in a while. So, they just continued to hold hands and just stood there.”

My friends, we are in a very difficult time in our existence. The human race has been here before but this is sort of new for my generation. Have we experienced trying times? Of course we have but this feels like a new day, a new level of burdens and worries. People we thought we knew turn out to be someone altogether different. Friends we thought we had turn out to be strangers. We have become devoted to our 24 hour news cycle and adherent to our social media shares. We take it all for gospel without using our own judgments and never question validity or legitimacy. I love social media as much as the next person and Alicia would probably tell you that I love it too much. But in today’s world, it hurts us as much, if not more, than it helps us. It feeds hatred and spurs commentary without fear of retribution.  
The story above is representative of the society that we are in right now and I use it to bring up a few thoughts for your consideration. I don’t know how to answer or address all of the thoughts yet but I think we are being forced to think about it. We may not have all the answers or fully understand why we are where we are today. We may not even know where we are, or at least we haven’t accepted it yet. I can tell you where I think we are. We are standing on our doorstep, looking at a burning city, a burning state, a burning country. There are people running in all directions, using their own misguided assumptions or what their friends tell them or what the internet tells them to determine the type of person they are going to be or, in some cases, they feel like they have to be, to survive.  

Sometimes, we can’t listen to all of the thoughts in our head about what’s happening around us. Our minds are not always our friends. What we need to be able to do is listen to what our heart is telling us. We need to be able to turn into the direction the fearful are running from and find someone who needs help. If we are the ones that need help, we need to reach out and let someone do just that when they have offered. Whichever person we are, we also need to be mindful of each other. We need to recognize the calling of the hurt or the scared. We need to recognize those that hold our hands when we are the ones calling out. We can not do this alone. We must help each other; most definitely if we are friends, but even if we are strangers.

We have to believe in each other. We have to believe in ourselves. We have to believe that we can repair our society. We have to believe that we have some control and we have some say in how our lives turn out. Will it be easy? Absolutely not. Will it ever be perfect like in the movies? I think the honest response is that we have advanced too far to answer that affirmatively. I do know there are good people out there though. We can not allow ourselves to be represented by the few. We have to stand for what we believe in and hold the hand of that person next to us that is looking for something to believe in. We can be a light to someone, even if it is just one other person. Really, that’s all it would take if we all did it. If you can’t be a light, find someone who is and cling to them. We don’t have to save the world but we can start by saving each other.  

This is not just for the people that are struggling with worldly/societal issues either. This could be for the person that doesn’t know how they are going to afford their next grocery cart full of goodies. Someone who has been abandoned by people they love. Someone who has lost a loved one. Someone who is ill and has struggled with coping. Look next to you in the checkout line or at the red light or at the dinner table. We are all hurting right now through some cause. We have to help each other. We are all we have! A movie star isn’t going to save us. Nor is our government. Our snapchat friends and twitter followers are not going to be our light. We have to look within and to the people that are physically in our lives. There is a lot of fear in our eyes right now. We don’t know what is going on around us but we know we need to run for shelter. While we are running, we need to pick up those that need to be there with us.

My final point relates to the final paragraph of the passage. When we reach out to someone and they accept our helping hand, or vice versa, we can’t tell them goodbye and retreat to our lives when the coast is clear. This is covered ever so gracefully in a song by Thrice, “Stay With Me.” I am asking you all to reach out during a time of need. Now is a time for friendship and caring. But I want you to answer the questions posed in the song – “Would you stay with me, if you thought the war was over and everything made right? Would you still believe in us? Would your love for me grow colder with no one left to fight?” Really think about it.  

Think about someone who has been there for you when you thought your world could not get any worse. When things got better, how easy was it for you to go back to your old ways and forget the ones that reached out their hand? This can be said about personal relationships, religion, really anything. I’m guilty so I am not trying to be hypocritical either. When we struggle, we reach out to friends, pastors, family and God. They don’t only need to hear from us during those times. I can think of a handful of people I have met in very difficult circumstances. I didn’t know why or how I met them and didn’t really question it at the time. I do know that those people will forever have a place in my heart and they mean a lot to me. They will never be forgotten. It’s time for us to become unforgettable. It’s time for us to do things the right way, regardless of what our society says we should do. Friends, we are now in a very difficult set of circumstances and we need to make room in our hearts for those that are hurting and those that need it the most.

J-Dub

It’s a saying as old as time that we have all been told at some point in our lives if we have lived any reasonable amount of years – Age is just a number. I’m here to tell you that we have been lied to. Age is in fact many things, both tangible and not, some good some bad, but clearly more than just a numerical identifier of our existence. But before I go on a ramble of what those things include, I want to get some general understandings out of the way. To begin with, I am aware that I am not the oldest person on this planet. I am not even the oldest person that will be reading this blog. There are others that have had tougher lives, have more physical issues and are generally hanging on by thinner threads than myself. The point of this is not to complain about getting old or seeking sympathy. However, this is my first time “getting old” and I don’t have any prior experience. I am figuring this out every day and while there are several obvious downsides to aging, I want to point out (and also remind myself) that there are some less known positives that need to be discussed. So let’s talk about what age really is.
Wisdom – We all have different experiences in life. Those experiences help us form our opinions of the world and our fellow man. Some of us go through physical issues or loss while others go through emotional or mental difficulties. While unique to each of us, they provide lessons that are crucial to our continued survival. These experiences teach us who to trust, how to deal with adversity, how to protect ourselves, how to protect the ones we love, how to love, when to let love walk away, when we need to reach out to friends and when we need to try and figure out things on our own. Wisdom is more than just being knowledgeable. Wisdom is using our knowledge (more detail below) to make more sound decisions than when we were 18 years old.

Knowledge – This characteristic could be good or bad. Like wisdom, our path through life forms the amount of knowledge we have. The way we were raised, the people we surround ourselves with, the amount of news we take in and our presence on social media help us stay in touch with what is going on around us. The world is constantly changing and as we age, we are better able to sort the junk from the real information. You may be asking how knowledge can be bad. Consider this – Alicia has decided that there are just some things that she’d rather not watch or know about. She doesn’t watch the news like I do. She sees things and hears about them from me or friends but she does not sit down and watch the news programs. I, on the other hand, will turn on one of the 24 hour news channels when I lay down for bed and watch until I fall asleep. While she is sometimes in the dark on what polling numbers are, she also doesn’t let contracting flesh eating bacteria consume her thoughts when she spends a day on the creek. She isn’t concerned about Zika virus when she’s working in the yard. So you see, sometimes too much knowledge can be a bad thing.  

Awareness – The older you get, the more you can say, “I’ve seen it all”, with conviction. Of course, the more you see, the more you are able to see. Think back to the Allegory of the Cave, discussed last week. When you first step out of the dark and see the sunlight, the harder it is to keep your eyes open and look around. You have to become accustomed to the light. As your eyes adjust, the more you can open them wide and take in the view. As you age, you become more aware of when people are lying to you or when they need help and are afraid to ask. If used appropriately, awareness, and to a greater degree, self-awareness can be powerful traits to possess. I think that the older I get, the easier it is to tell when I am pushing too hard or when I am overstepping my bounds. I hope to continue to hone that skill and become ultimately self aware.

Empathy – Some people may be born with empathetic traits but most are developed during life. Some people never even develop them. I have found that aging has increased my ability to be able to understand and feel for people when they go through tough times. By no means does this mean the person with empathy totally gets it and can relate to the person going through those times. But as we get older, we realize how precious life is and how important each year, month, week or even day becomes. We don’t want to see people we love spend those days in turmoil or misery. By extension, we feel a certain level of pain for that person and want to help or take away that pain. We can only imagine that if we feel it, even if on a small level, the person experiencing the issue must feel like they are in figurative hell. When we hear about a friend being diagnosed with cancer or a couple losing a child or someone going through a divorce, we have the appropriate experiences in life to put that event in a perspective that makes it real enough for us to understand the gravity. This can be a tough one when it becomes a part of our make up but I would rather have empathy than be someone who can’t feel it.

Apathy and Intolerance – These go together because I have reached a point where I care so little about certain things, I can’t tolerate the thought and effort it takes to be upset about it. This is not the intolerance you may immediately think of. Getting older hasn’t made me dislike other religions or races or sexual preferences. The intolerance I am referring to is that of mundane activities or bullshite. When we live in this world long enough, we tend to become sick of the latest public outrage or “false flags” of our twisted society. We stop caring about some things, for better or worse. I don’t really care that much about waiting in a long line to do something that lasts 2 minutes, i.e. roller coasters. Do I still love them? Yes, but if the line is too long, I’m good without it. I don’t dwell on the fact that I am not a homerun hitter in softball. I don’t need that to prove my manhood. And I especially don’t need steroids or illegal equipment to keep up the charade. I don’t have to see movies in the theater. I don’t have to have the newest automobile accessory or sound system. I guess it’s not so much “not caring” as it is caring more about important things. A lot of times, I just don’t care…..  

Strength – This is not about brute physical strength. This is about being a strong person with moral fiber and a belief system we don’t compromise to satisfy others. This is about being able to support one another when needed, to be a shoulder to cry on – holding our children when they are tired even though our body is weak too – staying awake on a long car ride when everyone else in the car is asleep – pushing through a work day when we’d much rather be in bed – putting that fun thing back on the shelf because we know a bill is due soon. That is strength and that comes with age, maturity and development. That is one of the great things about getting older but also is not something we tout to a 20 year old as a perk. I am proud that I can do those things but I am not running to Bri or Aaron or Zibby and saying, “Just wait until you have bills to pay and you have to stop buying “toys” or that long night where you can’t lie down and rest yourself because your kid needs to be held until they go to sleep. It is a blast.” While I am not touting it, it is a clear sign of adulthood and a big indicator that you are growing up.  

Fatigue – When there is strength, there will inevitably be fatigue. Carrying the weight of a family, bills, friendships and a perennial fantasy football dynasty means we are going to crash from time to time. The good thing about getting older is that we can accept it more. Fatigue was a sign of weakness at 21. If we couldn’t stay up and party all night, we were lame. I submit to you that it is a sign of strength when you reach your 40th birthday. The fatigue comes from doing things that the body and mind have a more difficult time doing than they did 20 years earlier but you still do them. It comes from pushing yourself to your limits mentally and physically. All of the things above create that fatigue. Being empathetic toward others, remaining aware, using wisdom and knowledge, caring for those around you – all of this can cause wear and tear. If you’ve tried to do things the right way, you can wear the scars as a badge of honor. The fact is I am tired. I will get more tired I am sure but when I am comparing myself to a 30 year old Dub, I am beat.  

Respect – With age, comes respect. I’m talking about respect for other people, your world, work and talents. In our mid 20’s, we thought we were the next big thing. We thought we had it all figured out and had the world by the balls. We didn’t know a damn thing. We were just too prideful or ignorant to accept that we didn’t know a damn thing. Now, I respect that friend that is fighting through a divorce or the single mom or dad that is raising their kids alone or that guy from high school who was headed for death or jail that turned it around and is a productive, honest human being. I respect what my parents had to put up with when I was growing up. I respect my teachers for not killing me when I was the class clown. I respect my friends and family for trying to do the right thing and teaching me the same. I respect Andrew Luck, Stephen Curry and Mike Trout for their athletic talent. I respect Chino and Dustin Kensrue for their ability to turn words into art. I thought I was good enough to do what they are doing when I was 22. Yes, that would be the definition of an ignoramus.  

Nostalgia – I guess this is probably the best part of getting older. Every generation experiences it. There was no better time to grow up than when “I” did. For my generation, there will never be another Nintendo or Saved By The Bell or Friday the 13th or Mike Tyson or Michael Jordan. When you age, you long for those things that bring pleasant thoughts and memories to your fuzzy mind. I can’t remember much about school or work but I remember the first time I saw Halloween and I remember the night Christian Laettner hit “the shot” against Kentucky and I remember Sid sliding into home. I remember fishing tournaments with my dad and RA basketball games and spending the summer fishing in Papa’s pond and going to the flea market on Sundays with Granddaddy and Gaga telling us to “put the damn presents down”. I hope I’ll always remember those things. If not, the blog will have to serve as my memory because those were all great things.

So yeah, that age thing. It’s not just a number. As a matter of fact, it gets harder and harder to remember the number every year. Forty will be an easy one but I am guilty of having to back into the number by subtractive the year I was born from the current year, I can’t lie. Well, I can but I am not right now. Getting older is not all bad. Old is relative anyway. I used to think 40 was decrepit but here I am, knocking on the door. Now, I think 60 is old and 20 was a thousand years ago. I think I am doing better at 40 than I anticipated when I was 20 but I can’t say I spent too much time thinking about it. I think about age a lot now. It’s hard not to. I see friends with kids getting married or graduating. I see kids from when I was a teenager having kids. There are no longer any Tecmo Bowl players in the NFL. Michael Jackson, Muhammed Ali, Ultimate Warrior are all deceased. I am getting older and there is no way around it. I am trying to learn to live with it and accept that it is a part of the grand cycle. In the end, it is worth noting that I am thankful to be here. Hopefully, I’ll feel the same at 60, should I make it.

 J-Dub

 

My mind doesn’t work quite right. I know, earth-shattering stuff, but hear me out. We all interpret or have feelings about things that differ from one another. Some of us see the sunlight and think about its warmth and recognize how beautiful the world is around us when lit up. Others can think about how hot and uncomfortable it makes us. The opposite of sunlight is darkness, the night. That can bring about feelings of calm, peaceful rest or it can be associated with tension and apprehension about facing tomorrow. It all depends on who you are, how you think and the experiences you have that have led to that thought process.

This is not an uncommon or unique paradox. In fact, it’s been around since almost the beginning of time. “The Allegory of the Cave” is one of the most famous (and original) views on the way we perceive the world around us. For those that don’t know about it, you can look it up anywhere on the web and there are even animated videos on YouTube for you non-readers. But I don’t suppose I have many “non-readers” perusing my blog to begin with.  

I’ll try to summarize it for the benefit of this discussion. There are also multiple variations but I’ll keep it broad. It is the story of 3 people that have been held prisoner in a cave since birth. They are chained up in a manner that forces them to face the wall on the opposite side from the cave opening. They are unable to turn their heads and can only face the wall in front of them. All they are able to see are occasional shadows on the wall in front of them that are reflected by a fire behind them with puppeteers carrying objects to convey images of people and animals. Over the years, they begin to name the shadows that appear on the wall and identify each activity they see. While all in black and white shadowy vision, as the years pass, their eyes have become adjusted to the dark and that is all they know.

One day, one of the prisoner’s shackles break and he is able to walk to the opening of the cave. At this point, he discovers the sun and he can’t see because of its power. He is fearful and contemplates returning inside or pushing forward. However, the longer he stays near the opening of the cave, the more adjusted his eyes become and he begins to be able to see around him. He begins to explore the outside world and begins to see the color of his surroundings made visible by the sun along with the people and the animals that have provided all of the background for what he thought the world was. He begins to notice that they have a texture he never before understood, they are so well defined in the light of day. He is overwhelmed by what he sees and returns to the cave to tell the other two about the new world he’s discovered. They reject him and his descriptions thinking he has totally lost his marbles and it must be a side effect of going out in the sun, outside the safety of the cave. He offers to free them so they can see for themselves but they physically refuse and demand that he leave them just like they are because they understand the world they are in.

There are many layers to the lessons that can be taken from this story. First, the symbolism of the cave and the fire represent people living in ignorance or oblivion only seeing what is being projected in front of them. The shadows symbolize perception and limited understanding. We are chained to the world we are living in and only know and understand what it is we see and deal with on a daily basis. When we are taken out of our element or comfort zone, we can be figuratively blinded by our surroundings and want to run back to what we know. But many times, as we open our eyes, hearts and minds to the new surroundings, we realize that there is more to the world than the limited shadows we are used to seeing. Further, we can sometimes try to bring friends with us to our “new world” and receive push back because it’s not what they are used to and they aren’t quite ready to step out of their comfort zone.  

I believe that we all reach the point in our lives, if we live long enough, where we face this issue in our own way. Maybe it’s maturity, maybe it’s the world evolving, or maybe it’s just our own minds continuing to develop. The world is absolutely evolving but it’s also majorly screwed up. And I don’t think I will ever fully mature so, for now, I’m leaning on my mind being in some sort of “continuing education” stage. The question I keep going back to though is whether or not I am wasting some portion of my life on something that isn’t real. I can tell you that I used to waste a lot of my life on things that weren’t real but I’d like to think that I have advanced past some of that. Some days I can’t convince myself.

Entertain me for a moment and think about your daily life and this allegory. My day begins with waking up and wanting to stay in bed for the rest of the day. Everyday, it’s the same feeling. Then I take one of the kids to school or a sitter and go to work to get started on contributing to society in some form or fashion. There are lots of unreal things that happen during that typical work day, or at least I pray they aren’t really happening. After work, it’s either softball or to the house to work on supper, the laundry, and general housework. This is the part where Alicia says, “Housework?” Then it’s a shower, some TV, some social media and darkness. I say darkness because sleep usually comes several hours after the darkness. I have been doing pretty much that exact same thing for the majority of the last nine years, since Bailey was born.  

Now think about how easy it is to lock in on that day after day after day. That becomes the world to me. No bombings, no terrorism, no war, no gun control, no transgender bathrooms, no elections, no racial tensions, no false outrage, no conspiracy theories. When I pull up Facebook and I see someone carrying the torch for the anti police movement or the anti Target movement or the NeverTrump or NeverHillary movements, it makes me think (sometimes aloud) why those things mean so much to them. Am I saying these things don’t matter? No – but 90% of the people fighting for or against these causes can’t give one meaningful example of when those things personally affected their lives. Before your morals get offended or you start challenging why I think who the President of the US is would be considered trivial, I want to remind you of the terms “meaningful” and “personally affected” and also went with 90%. We can all read and share a viral article that may or may not contain facts and proudly broadcast our stance. That’s not a very hard thing to do and it’s generally met with resounding likes from like minded friends. Feel free to share the hell out of this post because I need more subscribers. But you must agree with my opinion…..joking.  

I’m not getting sidetracked on government and LGBT issues. I am using those as examples of what I am questioning to be real or not. It is clearly real to some people but is it real for me? Which brings me to a few culminating questions: Should I lose sleep about things that don’t affect me? Because something doesn’t affect me today, does it mean it won’t affect me tomorrow? If something doesn’t affect me, am I cluttering my mind or soul by even knowing about it? If I am avoiding knowing about something does it mean I am cold and don’t care? I don’t know the answer to these questions. That’s why I am having this discussion on paper now. I may never know. What I do know is that I ask myself these questions a lot. The older I get, the more they seem relevant.  

Ultimately I think I have to decide which side I want to be on. Do I want to live in a world where everything is comfortable and risk missing out on something? Or do I want to push my limits and experience some of the things the world has to offer outside of my view but risk being caught up in an environment where I can’t see anymore because it’s too unfamiliar and brash? I truly haven’t decided. I think my opinion changes from day to day. I think there is something that is out there that I need to find. I don’t know what it is I am even looking for but I feel like it is out there, outside of this cave. I just can’t seem to get the courage or strength up to break these shackles.

Of course, this might actually be it. This might be the truth that I am living. There may be nothing more. I would not be unfulfilled but I think I would be a little surprised and probably at least a little disappointed in some recess of my soul. The disappointment would arise from my belief all along that there was another life out there – that there was more truth to find and the day to day experiences I get bogged down in weren’t shadows after all. It’s always possible that this is it. That brings me to a song that I recommend you taking a listen to and marinating over for a brief time. The song is called “The Window“and it’s based on other interpretations of the Allegory of the Cave and similar works. It really speaks to this issue and conveys some of the feelings I have when I lose myself in these thoughts.

“All that I’ve known’s within the walls of this room, where there’s a window, roughly boarded up. It’s true the gaps are patched, but even through the tiny cracks I feel a wind blow, I see a light of strangest hue. Late in the night I lay awake, my eyes fixed on the window. I strained my ears until I thought that I might have heard a song, somehow hiding in the soft glow, old as time and ever new. I found a note scratched in the wall, in a pained and earnest scrawl. The hand, I recognized, was somehow mine…..I read each line with dread: ~There’s no wind and there’s no light, there’s no song you hear at night, there’s nowhere to hide, be terrified, it’s all inside your head.~ There’s nothing I can say – there’s no way I can prove, that there’s a place, beyond this room. But still, there’s something in the way the light comes shining through and in the way the curtains move.”

 Am I in a room? A cave? Or is this my world?

 J-Dub